


A Day Without You

by jimboppa (caramiro)



Series: 60 Seconds is All We Need [2]
Category: Figure Skating RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Future Fic, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-24
Updated: 2014-03-24
Packaged: 2018-01-16 20:01:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,630
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1359982
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/caramiro/pseuds/jimboppa
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>All Yuzuru wants is one more chance</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Day Without You

sequel to [12:51](http://archiveofourown.org/works/1327975). I personally recommend for you to listen to [this](http://8tracks.com/clarascookie/a-day-without-you-playlist) while reading.

 

If there is any doubt that the Winter Olympics was finally under way, then this welcome dinner at Pyeongchang seals the deal. Yuzuru stands in line as he waits his turn at the buffet table, deciding what he wants to eat. He has just finished catching up with Kanako who was complaining that he didn’t come home to Japan in a year. Just as he looks up, he spots a face he knows he’d see sooner or later but would rather not see too soon.

 

Michael has grown even taller than Yuzuru remembers. This is probably what he gets for purposely not paying attention in the last four years. His hair is also a lot shorter and less fluffy. He’s still a bit thin, as they all are, but there’s subtle muscle that wasn’t there before. There’s a slight light in his eyes, but Yuzuru can’t tell if the innocence they once had is still there, or if it was replaced by something else entirely. The change isn’t bad, but part of him misses that 17 year old boy he met four years ago.

 

Yuzuru finds himself ducking his head low, pretending he’s having difficulty deciding whether he wants to have pesto or tomato sauce with his pasta. He ends up picking random items, without thinking, as he determinedly keeps his eyes on the buffet table, without bothering to know what he’ll actually be eating. He thinks this works perfectly fine, as he doesn’t feel any eyes boring into the back of his head. He just has to make it back to the table Akiko has saved for them, and he can eat his dinner in peace.

 

“Hey! Michael! Over here!” Kanako says, waving to the skater, who waved back before pointing to a table as he walked by.

 

“Kanako! Stop!” Yuzuru hisses, as he pulls her back to the line. “Don’t do that. Can’t you see he’s with other skaters from his own country?”

 

“I haven’t seen him since the last Grand Prix Final, Yuzuru, and I just wanted to say hi,” Kanako says, pouting while she sneakily nicks a pastry off the buffet table.

 

“Couldn’t you have done it later? And don’t think I’m not telling Coach Machida about that eclair.”

 

Kanako raises an eyebrow at Yuzuru, and he takes it as a sign of her being suspicious. Once she got started, Kanako Murakami was NOT going to stop. “Fine, tell coach about the eclair,” she says as she bites into it. “But you are also telling me what’s wrong with wanting to talk to Michael.”

 

Yuzuru just stares at Kanako, hoping that she’d get the hint and drop the topic. That has been uncharted territory ever since the Sochi Olympics. He knows this is all his fault, but he has long convinced himself that he did the right thing. “He’ll thank me for it someday.”

 

“Who will thank you for what?” Kanako asks, folding her hands across her chest. Yuzuru looks down to see his long-time friend scowling at him with a facial expression he swears she learned from Mao.

 

“Kanako, please,” Yuzuru says as they move out of the buffet line. “We’ll talk about it at practice later. I promise.”

 

Despite his promise, he’s still not ready to talk about this, especially not with Kanako. She may be one of those people who know him best, but this is something he’d rather not talk about. He didn’t even tell his Pooh bear about this. He feels like this is something solely between the two of them, and he wants to leave it at that. He also knows that once Kanako smells something odd, she is going to stop at nothing to get to the bottom of it all.

 

For the first time in his life, he legitimately dreads practice for two reasons: the increased chances of running into Michael and the fact Kanako’s out to get him.

 

When he gets to the rink, he catches a glimpse of Michael just ending his session, laughing at something Misha just said. The minute their eyes catch sight of each other, Michael’s smile changes into something more forced as they exchange pleasantries. He bets his own face looks similar, but he doesn’t care about that right now. He can’t help but notice how casually Misha slings his arm around Michael’s shoulders. Yuzuru tears his eyes away from them and heads for the rink, lest Misha starts asking some weird questions he knows he’d rather not deal with.

 

By the time he gets settled in the rink, he sees Kanako leaning by the rink with her hands folded across her chest. Yuzuru purposely avoids her as he warms up.

 

“Start talking,” Kanako says the moment it’s just the two of them in the rink. Yuzuru sighs as he lands a quadruple Salchow. He is not in the mood to deal with this, but he sighs as he starts skating circles around his friend, hoping it would loosen both his nerves and his tongue.

  
  
  
  
  
  


It was the night before opening ceremonies at Sochi and Yuzuru couldn’t sleep, given the racket Daisuke and Tatsuki made as they sang a bad rendition of “Total Eclipse of the Heart” in the room next door. He sighed as he stepped out of the room to take a walk. He was only 19, but the there was a lot at stake. He wanted to make Japan proud. He owed so much to the people at Sendai, and this was one of the few ways he can repay them for all they have done for him.

 

He was lost in his thoughts and pretty soon, he found himself nearing the top of the hill. Yuzuru saw someone was already there. It was that Filipino guy—Michael, if he remembered right—Patrick Chan hung around with earlier today. “I’m king of the world!” he shouted, and Yuzuru started chuckling before he could stop himself.

 

The moment he turned around, what greeted Yuzuru were a pair of shining eyes and a smile that was unlike any other. There was this innocence in those eyes that made Yuzuru want to keep it to himself. He swore his heart stopped for a bit, but he thought it was probably because of the cold.

 

“Couldn’t sleep?” Yuzuru asked, cursing himself for not coming up with anything better than that. Of all things he could ask, this was the best he could come up with?

 

He felt the excitement radiating off Michael as the other boy shook his head. Of course, everyone at Sochi knew his story. He was the first Filipino figure skater to qualify in the Olympics, and to make things even more ironic, he came from a country where snow doesn’t exist. He remembered his first time at a competition of such epic proportions. He looked up at the cloudy sky, wondering if he emanated that sort of excitement back then.

 

“It excites you, yes?”

 

“Yes.”

 

A confused, yet happy face was probably not what Michael would consider his most flattering look, but Yuzuru thought there was nothing cuter than that.  

 

“Don’t be scared,” Yuzuru said, as he sat on the ground. There was something about this boy that made Yuzuru want to spend more time with him, so he gently pat the spot next to him.

 

“It’s a long road ahead, but you should enjoy it while there are no expectations,” Yuzuru said. He envied how there was little to no pressure on Michael to succeed. The fact that Michael was even in Russia was already an achievement on its own. If Michael managed to make it to the free skate, then it would have only been sweeter. Whereas, Yuzuru had so much going for him, and if he failed, the consequences would be even worse than he’d care to imagine.

 

He suddenly felt a chill in his hands and he realized he walked out of his room without any gloves. He cursed Daisuke and Tatsuki’s awful singing for making him want to get out in the first place. Now he was stuck with someone who renders him speechless and he might have just ruined his professional image in front of him.

 

Yuzuru was in the middle of rubbing his hands when Michael gestured at him to take the glove in his hand. Why would a guy who is even more unaccustomed to this kind of weather than he was offer him a glove? Yuzuru felt his face flush as he accepted the glove with much thanks. Just as he slipped the first one on, he noticed Michael was removing the other one. That was too much already. Besides, the glove felt nice and warm, and he wondered if Michael’s hands were the same.

 

“Give me your hand,” he said, pointing to the ungloved one before he could stop himself. He took it with his own freezing one and put their intertwined hands in his coat pocket, just like those dramas Saya and Kanako liked watching.

 

“Shh,” Yuzuru said, putting a finger to his lips, as he sensed Michael was about to ask what’s happening. “We both need hand to hold.”

 

He mentally cringed at himself the minute he said that. He needed to stop watching cheesy dramas with Kanako. But then again, he thought nerves, pressure, and everything else expected of them both were a good enough reason for needing a hand to hold. Besides, Michael’s warm, bony hands felt perfect against his freezing ones.  

 

It was almost as though Fate wanted to keep them together after that. They had so many things in common, and Yuzuru found his English improving thanks to Michael, and that Michael had so many stories to tell. But none of that explained the quick beating of his heart or the flush on his cheeks whenever Michael looked at him. He couldn’t understand how in a span of a few weeks, Michael had this ability to make him feel like he was flying whenever he smiled.

 

Of course winning the gold was an unexpected, but very much welcome achievement. Amidst the tears and smiles of Coach Brian, the other members of the Japanese team, and everyone else in the venue, there was only one face he sought.

 

The athletes were whisked off to the celebratory dinner at the end of the competition. Yuzuru found himself receiving congratulatory messages from almost everyone that he was unable to finish his dinner. When he made eye contact with Michael, he mouthed out “HELP!” but all the other boy did was to chuckle and leave him alone.

 

As he and Michael gave up attempting to untangle the drunken bodies of Javier, Daisuke, Misha, Patrick, and Denis, he felt like a giddy schoolgirl when Michael offered to walk him to his room.  

 

When they were in front of Yuzuru’s door, Michael was about to wave ‘Good night’ and be on his way. There was just something about those lips that Yuzuru wanted to kiss—he wasn’t sure if it was the alcohol doing this to him or not. Without warning he gripped on the lapels of Michael’s jacket, shutting his eyes as he gave away his first kiss.

 

Suddenly feeling embarrassed at himself, Yuzuru let go of Michael with a hasty “Good night!” and ran into his room. Once he shut the door, he leaned against it before giggling like some silly high school girl.

 

Things went on this way, as they made the most of the time they had together, even when Yuzuru had gala rehearsals to attend. It was finally the morning Michael was flying home to Manila, and the last time they would see each other. Yuzuru wondered what was going to happen to them next. He had no idea how he managed to feel some sort of happiness before he met Michael, and this thought began to scare him.

 

Everything between them went by too fast, and too soon. Before this, all Yuzuru wanted to care about was skating. He couldn’t imagine himself being happy doing anything else. None of this made sense, and this terrified him more than anything else. Yuzuru hated things he didn’t understand. He didn’t want to fall into some unknown thing and take someone down with him. Michael deserved better than this. He deserved someone who knew what was happening. Yuzuru never asked to fall for those shining eyes and shy smiles; it just happened.

 

He had to end this madness before it could escalate into something that spiralled out of their control. It hurt for him to even think it, but what made him happy now might be the one thing that caused him to fall later on.

  


Yuzuru asked Michael to take a walk with him the night before Michael flew back to Manila. They held hands inside Michael’s coat pocket this time, as Yuzuru led the way to the spot they first spoke with each other. None of them said anything as they walked, Yuzuru was thankful for this, as his voice might start shaking if he bothered to speak.

 

“Well, here we are,” Yuzuru said, as they stopped at the spot they first held hands. “Do you remember?” It was here that everything began, so he thought it was quite fitting for him to end it here as well. Only these hills will be able to witness the bookends of whatever it was they had.

 

Yuzuru wondered how he was going to open the topic when Michael did it for him.  “What’s wrong?” Michael asked. He gently stroked the back of Yuzuru’s hand with his thumb. A part of Yuzuru wanted to get let the warmth of Michael’s hands soothe him, he knew he had to pull way.

 

“This whole thing was a mistake,” Yuzuru said, staring at the dark gray sky in front of them, lest he started crying.

 

“What—” Michael asked, the confusion in his voice, very evident.

 

“Shh,” Yuzuru said, finally reciting the speech he had rehearsed in his head all morning. If Michael spoke before he could finish, his resolve just might break. He had to do this for them both, before they did anything that they’d regret.

 

“I shouldn’t have approached you that night we first met. I should have just left you alone that night, but there was just something about you that I knew I had to have,” Yuzuru said, his voice got shakier with every word he said. He could feel himself aching as he went on. “These last few weeks have been some of the best of my life, but we must stop this while we still can.”

 

“So in other words, you don’t want to see me or hear from me until the next competition?”

 

Yuzuru sighed, trying to keep his voice steady, before he replied, “Yes.”

 

He half-expected Michael to cry or shout, or explode… anything. What he wasn’t prepared for was Michael’s calm yet cold “Whatever makes you happy,” before he sat on the ground.

 

Yuzuru knew he had to leave before he started crying. “Goodbye, Michael. It was really nice meeting you,” he whispered as he ran away from the hill, trying to keep his tears at bay.

  
  


The gala performances have just finished and Yuzuru was exhausted. He flung himself on the bed as he reached for his Pooh stuffed toy. As he pulled it toward him, his phone fell out from underneath. He picked it up, and saw that he had a voice message on LINE from him, dated two days back.

 

He braced himself as he opened the message, wondering what on earth he was going to hear.

 

> _“Hey Yuzuru, it’s me. Congrats on winning the gold medal. I knew you could do it! I just also wanted to thank you for helping me out and holding my hand when I needed it the most. These last few weeks with you have been some of the best of my life. This is going to sound cheesy, but besides skating, you’ve also let me feel things I thought I wasn’t capable of. I… don’t know how to explain it, but you made me feel like I was flying back then. I’ll be leaving in a few hours and hope I get to see you again… I’ll miss you.”_

 

Yuzuru stopped the message as embraced his Pooh stuffed toy. He stared at the hilltop which he could see from his bedroom window, hoping he did the right thing.

 

Why was it called heartache when everything hurt?

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


“Oh, so that’s what happened,” Kanako says as she adjusts her vest. “No wonder he doesn’t want to talk to you or be near you, stupid.”

 

“Kanako,” he says, wishing she’d shut up. “Can we not talk about this here?”

 

Yuzuru still isn’t sure if telling Kanako everything was the right thing to do. It may have been four years since it happened, but he still wonders if he should have done things differently. And another thing he wonders, is why didn’t Michael run after him? Why did Michael just say “OK” and let him go?

 

“Yuzuru,” Kanako’s voice breaks him out of his reverie. “Before anything else, I just have to say you’re the biggest idiot for letting him go like that without even giving things a shot.”

 

Yuzuru sighs as he attempts another triple axel. “I don’t need you to tell me that, Kanako. I already remember it every single day.”

 

Kanako skates past him toward the rink’s exit. Their time in the rink is up, and he sees Patrick and Yulia waiting at the side for their turn. Yuzuru wonders how much of their conversation the defending silver medalist heard as he takes in Patrick’s unusually contemplative face as they exchange greetings.

 

“Do you want him back?” Kanako asks the minute they are out of earshot.

 

Yuzuru took his bag off the bench and walked out of the rink. “Of course I want him back. But the question is, does he feel the same?”

 

Kanako stops in her tracks, as she turns to look back at him. “That’s the hard part of it, but you never know unless you try. And if it comes down to it, I am going to help you two get your happy ending.”

 

Yuzuru’s eyes widen at Kanako’s words. He knows Kanako likes happy endings, but he definitely didn’t expect this. “Kanako… why?”

 

“You’re one of my best friends, Yuzuru,” she coos as she pinches his cheeks. “Besides, if Michael still loves you, that could be the plausible explanation for why he won’t go out with me.”

 

Yuzuru groans as Kanako bends over laughing in between assurances of “Just kidding.”

 

Time and history may not be on his side, but he knows, if things are meant to happen, they will. All he probably needs is the right push to actually change things. He better make his move, before time runs out forever.

 

Yuzuru walks around the Olympic Village the night before the short program. He bears the hopes of Japan on his shoulders once again along with the pressure to defend his gold medal. He spots a hill at the end of the Olympic Village, and he decides to walk up there to be alone with his thoughts. Just as he reaches the top, he realizes how familiar this situation is. Fate must have enjoyed toying with him, as he finds Michael sprawled on the ground.

 

This is his chance, and he knows it. Swallowing the urge to run away, he clears his throat as he looks down at Michael’s face. “Mind if I join you?”

 

Michael must have been snapped out of his reverie as his head turns to look at Yuzuru. “Oh, hi, Yuzuru,” he says in a tone that Yuzuru finds to be polite but devoid of any emotion. He isn’t sure what to make of this. “Go ahead. Good luck finding space though. I’m not in the mood to move any time soon.”

 

Yuzuru doesn’t remember Michael being this snarky. He isn’t sure if it’s a good thing or not, but he can tell that the other boy is trying to keep himself closed up. He takes a deep breath as he musters the courage to get the conversation going. He doesn’t know how this is going to turn out. They have a short skate tomorrow, and Yuzuru has to get this out of his system.

 

“Michael, I…” Yuzuru says, his eyes firmly on the ground. He still can’t bring himself to look at Michael’s face. “About that night…”

 

“I don’t need to hear it, Yuzuru. Save it,” Michael says.

 

Yuzuru’s eyes go wide at those words. He wonders if Michael even cares about what happened. He deserves an explanation. It’s here, four years too late, but still here.

 

“But—” he says, trying to get through to Michael. He needs the younger boy to listen to him, just for ten minutes. Just as he’s still grappling for words, Michael shakes his head.

 

“Don’t make it harder for both of us, please. By the way,” Michael says with a gentle smile and suddenly, the innocence he saw in those eyes four years ago is back. “Good luck at the short program tomorrow.”

 

“Thanks, you too,” he whispers as he stretches his legs.

  
Yuzuru sighs to himself as Michael gets up and walks off. So much for getting to talk about this before the short program. He wonders if he’s too late to fix everything. This isn’t over yet, and Yuzuru knows it. He knows this isn’t much, but he swears he saw a faint glimmer of hope in those dark eyes earlier. This is his last chance to make things right, and this time, he’s not letting go.

 

   
  
---  
  
 

-30-

**Author's Note:**

> 1\. Believe it or not, I began writing this right after I finished typing out 12:51. It went from a completely different direction from what I first planned. I managed to finish the hand-written version of this while waiting for a plane to take me back to Manila from Bohol, as I risked nosy new friends from the media reading this.  
> 2\. Title was taken from the song [하루 (A Day Without You)](http://kromanized.com/2014/02/10/s-m-the-ballad-a-day-without-you-%ED%95%98%EB%A3%A8-sung-by-jonghyun-chen/) by Jonghyun (SHINee) and Chen (Exo) for SM the Ballad.  
> 3\. Thanks to #TeamYeloBear for putting up with my shit and drama. I love you girls.  
> 4\. Again, Tropical Frost (tropical-frost.com) is now on Twitter on Instagram (@tropicalfrost) for your fix of MCM goodness ^^;;  
> 5\. Cross-posted to [Livejournal](http://pseudoreports.livejournal.com/9606.html) and Mizuru Monday @ Tumblr


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